One of the things I often get complimented on is confidence. As a coach, instructor and mentor, people perceive me as clear on my self-worth and place in the world. In general, I also feel this way about myself. In my work I encourage others to love and celebrate themselves and work to do the same for myself.
However, I recently have been noticing a re-occurring theme in my thoughts…
I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
I will teach a class and immediately start to think about how I could have done it better. I’ll try on clothing and think “I could do more sit-ups.” I travelled with a man in my life and was berating myself about how I needed to make him comfortable the whole time.
I was surprised to realize how often this was happening. Daily, even hourly, I was criticizing myself for not being good enough. In the beginning of this realization I wrote it off. As a lifelong member of “Overachievers Anonymous”, I simply saw it as a way to constantly make myself better.
But then I remembered something I often say to my clients… “would you treat someone you love the way you treat yourself?”
“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene
So, I took out a piece of paper and wrote, “Hey Lisa, you are fine the way you are.” I laughed to myself, inherently; I knew this was more than true. I am more than fine, I am pretty awesome.
To that end, I have been thinking about how to stop that voice inside my head. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
In the end, the reason why I want to work on this so much is that I need to make space in my life for what matters. I am choosing to trade in all that emotional energy and all the thoughts of “not good enough.” I am committing to myself to use that time to being better in the world, to make change and to believe in myself. I am good enough. In fact, I’m great and can’t wait to share it with the world.