How Do We Change?
About five years ago I was at an impasse. I was, by all accounts and purposes, successful. I was five years into owning Studio Zahiya and it was a six figure business. I was touring as a bellydance teacher and traveling the US, Canada and Europe. I was producing art, was in great shape and lived in a downtown loft.
I was unhappy.
I was literally running from class to class, from event to event. I was involved with a man who wasn’t that interested in me, but seemed to show up just enough to have me on a string. I was sad a lot. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt unfulfilled. I really strongly desired change, in my mindset, my mood and my life. It felt like life was pulling me along and I was running to keep up. I didn’t have time to make choices about what I wanted or how I wanted things to go/or to be.
So, I decided it was time for change. I bought every self help book out there. I read them cover to cover. I went to school for coaching. I meditated, I pulled cards. And while I was learning a lot, not a lot was changing.
One day, in the early spring, I took the day off and went on a solo hike. As I stood on one of the beautiful vistas of the blue ridge mountains, I realized something. I had to take action. I was waiting for my feelings to change, that one of these passages of self discovery would make me feel different, and then I would act differently.
I had the order wrong. I had to act different so I could feel differently. Not vice versa.
If you want something to change, change something.
I stopped reading and started acting.
It was messy, it was uncomfortable and it was awkward. And, more than anything, it was hard. It was so hard to feel insecure and uncomfortable and do the thinks anyway. But I did it.
And things changed.
Businesses grew. Tremendously. Relationships changed. I took control.
And I changed. It was amazing.
The lesson that I learned was that I would be waiting forever if I was waiting to feel ready. I just had to do it. To take the action. And when I proved to myself that I could do it, the feeling changed. The confidence came.
Just do it. Messy, messy action.